Intrepid as always, the #Nipclub Head Nip Chef @WinstonTabby has brought us the very finest of North Pole cuisine for #CatmasEve. It’s all virtual, which makes it animal safe and no calories. Just ask your barktender on duty (Barktender Twitter Schedule here; virtual guys in white coats on Chatzy) for your choice or any of your favorites — the kitchen is pretty magic at Catmas!
Drinks
This delicious and refreshing novelty drink is sure to prove a hit at NipClub’s North Pole weekend! The flavor is every bit as enjoyable as you would expect from a classic root beer, but the novelty is in the way it’s served, with the bottle decorated to resemble Santa’s leading reindeer, Rudolph. Two enormous eyes look at you above his trademark red nose and a stylish red and white tie, and his antlers hold a secret. You ever wondered how Santa navigates precisely in among the chimney-tops? Well,Rudolph’s antlers have a GPS and radio antenna wired to them! They’re very light and don’t hurt him in the slightest, but will your Rocking Rudolph Root Beer bottle have the same facilities? Order one and see…
Next, we have your choice of Happy Holiday Wine. Our generously sized bottles come in a choice of red, white or rose, so can be guaranteed to complement your choice of any of the dishes on our Menu. Bottled in the NipClub Winery, the white is light, refreshing and sparkling, the red is rich and fruity and the rose has a slightly woody bouquet which is all the rage in Paris this season. All our wines are served in a nip-frosted crystal wine-glass topped off with a fresh nip sprig, and this selection is accompanied by a seasonal decoration of holly leaves with berries. Don’t think it’s just for fun, though – the leaves are actually trimmed and frosted nip leaves, and the berries colored marzipan!
For beer lovers, we have real treat – specially prepared for the occasion, it’s called Christmas Brew. Despite questioning, cajoling and the efforts of a private investigator it has proved impossible to find a list of the precise ingredients, so @WinstonTabby was forced to analyze the contents by pure taste. He reports that it is crisp, refreshing, with a hint of spice and a warming aftertaste, and requested another so that he could establish further details. Frequently. Order now, before he drinks it all!
For that romantic moment with the anipal of your dreams, the drink to order is Mistletoe Magic Shots. Smooth and sophisticated, this delicious Chartreuse delicately infused with essence of nip is 110 proof. Served in a crystal shot glass edged with frosted nip and garnished with holly and nip leaves, this drink is a not-to-be-missed experience which will instantly establish your credentials as one of the coolest anipals in town. ANY town.
A drink with a difference is this delicious and colorful Nip-a-dee-doo-dah Punch. Fruit and choicest nip ice-cream mingle with lashings of luxurious pure whipped cream and served in a stylish crystal dish edged with nip and garnished with chopped nip leaves and a fresh nip sprig. Guaranteed to make you feel as light-hearted as the song it’s (kinda!) named for, this drink is for the playful anipal who wants to have fun and is always eager to try something new and exciting.
Grandmeow Tabby is, as you have probably guessed already from her name, the legendary Grandmeow of our Nip Chef Winston. She inspired his interest in cooking, taught him many secret recipes and is rumored to have introduced him to nip. This delicious Grandmeow Tabby’s Nip-Nogg is made with lashings of cream, sugar and eggs whipped together with a lavish helping of nip, a large dash of bourbon, cinnamon sticks and a sprinkling of nutmeg and chopped nip leaves. Ordering this drink shows you have a strong sense of tradition as well a liking for trying something new, and @WinstonTabby’ll be your friend for life!
Appetizers
Always a very welcome addition to a pawty, Frosty’s appearance this time is in the guise of a very festive cheeseball. Round, fat and cheerful, Frosty is filled with delcious full-cream cheese and wrapped in light, fluffy creamed potato before beaing baked to perfection and served to you surrounded by the lightest bite-size crackers you have ever tasted. His eyes and buttons are currants, he has a baby carrot for a nose, and atop his head is a wreath made from a fresh nip sprig entwined with cranberries. Just don’t eat so many that you don’t have room for the main dish!
These delicious Ham and Cheese Sliders are a very satisfying meal in their own right! Thick slices of premium quality nip-glazed ham topped with the very finest crumbly Wensleydale cheese specially imported from the Lake District of North-West England nestle inside a soft white but with a crispy golden brown top. Served with Dijon mustard and nip pickle, these sliders are an experience you simply must not miss!
For the height of elegance and sophistication, you will want to start your meal with a Nip Shrimp Cocktail. Only the very finest shrimps from Dublin Bay have been flown over especially for you. Coated with nip glaze, they are served for your enjoyment with the choicest and most tasty sprigs of @TinyPearlCat’s primo nip.
These Sushi Trees are so tempting that kitties may well want to climb them! Slivers of wild Pacific Salmon are rolled up with the utmost care and placed on a bed of fluffy vinegared rice within a cupcake-style nip-flavored pastry case, then stacked to form a Christmas tree design with a marzipan star on top. Will you enjoy some branches from a Sushi Tree? Undoubtedly. Will you be able to eat a whole tree by yourself? Well, no-one’s managed yet…
These delightful Weenie Wonderland Wreaths are almost too cute to eat! Small hot-dog sausages are glazed with nip and wrapped in delicious light short-crust pastry, then placed together to form a circle and cooked on a huge baking tray until mouth-wateringly golden brown and bonded together in the shape of a Christmas wreath. Served with Dijon mustard and nip sauce, their extra kick comes from the chopped nip leaves sifted together with the flour before baking. If you’ve ever wondered why Rudolph’s nose is red, it just might have something to do with the fact that this is believed to be his favorite Christmas dish!
ENTRÉES
Speaking of favorite Christmas dishes, an elf told me that the next item on the Menu is Santa’s Favorite Soup! Made from chicken slow-cooked in a nip stock with added vegetables and red and green peppers and topped off with chicken and nip leaf filled pakoras, this soup can be guaranteed to warm the heart and body on the coldest night. If it keeps Santa warm and smiling all night long, what will it do for you?
This Festive Pasta is a festive meal with a difference! Lashings of ground beef cooked with chili peppers, tomatoes, beans, garlic, onions and cumin and carefully seasoned with chopped nip leaves are placed on a bed of pasta made from wheat flour sifted with chopped nip leaves. The dish is topped off with a toasted cheese star, and served with fresh tomatoes and nip sauce.
This is a truly international dish, based on a recipe from Naples and named for a Christmas carol from Germany. As its name suggests the O Christmas Tree Pizza is stone-baked in the shape of a Christmas tree. Its flour has been liberally seasoned with chopped nip leaves, and its topping includes pepperoni, cheese, tomato, green and yellow peppers and pineapple laced with juicy strips of succulent bacon.
This delicious festive Holiday Ham has been specially imported from Parma, Italy, which is rightly famous throughout the world for the quality of its fine smoked ham. Thick-cut to give you the most satisfying eating experience, this beautiful succulent ham is edged with freshly-made breadcrumbs and served to you with roast potatoes and your choice of vegetables (the cabbage, sprouts and nip leaves are especially highly recommended), along with lettuce and nip salad and grapes from California. This dish goes particularly well with a glass or three of Christmas Brew.
Traditional Turkey is everything that you could wish for from a traditional Christmas dinner. A huge portion of turkey, roasted to perfection with rosemary and nip glaze and bacon trimmings, is stuffed with sage and onion and served with bacon, roast potatoes, French fries, sprouts, cranberry and apple sauce and green and purple grapes. Accompanied by a free bottle of Happy Holiday Wine, this really is perfection on a plate!
Desserts
Frosty makes another guest appearance on out Menu, this time in the shape of these delicious Frosty Pops. A ball of coconut ice forms Frosty’s head, with small pieces of chocolate for his eyes and mouth and a delicious nip-glazed cherry for his nose. His hat is made of chocolate-coated maripan, with coconut edging around the brim, and his cheerful air is bound to make you smile! Only thing is, Frosty loves company – eat one, and you’re bound to want one more…
These delightful Christmas Cookies have real personality! They come in various shapes, including Christmas trees, reindeer and Christmas bells, but the most popular character is… guess who? Yep, Frosty is again the star of the show. All our cookies are made with the very best nip flour, and their frosting also contains nip essence (TIP: they’re color-coded, so the green and purple ones contain the highest amount of nip essence, while those with pink and blue in their design are milder, and suitable for younger or less daring pals). Whichever color or design you choose, they’re all delicious!
Obviously, not everyone pawtying with us will be celebrating Christmas, so for those whose festival is Hanukkah, and those who discovered a taste for Hanukkah cuisine at #NipClub recently, we have some more of the highly-popular Happy Hanukkah CupCakes. Decorated with frosted snowflakes, snowmen, dreidels and the Star of David, I challenge you to stop at one!
As you can see, Santa has been getting so jolly on our Mistletoe Shots that he could use a bit of help from Rudolph to get back on his sleigh! While he does, you can be checking out this delicious Holly Jolly Cake. In three layers of light-as-air sponge cake, each layer iced different colors and designs of frosting, the cake is topped off by a slightly inebriated Santa sitting under a Christmas tree surveying two of the presents he’s supposed to be delivering. All the figures are edible frosted marzipan, but beware – all our frosting is heavily laced with nip! Enjoy…
Another sumptuously decorated three-tier sponge cake is our Sleigh Ride Magic Cake. Surrounding the base we have Santa, Christmas trees, and a couple of playful pals, while one tier above we have Santa and his chocolate reindeer delivering their presents. Above that again, we have more small trees, surmounted by a larger tree with a huge star adorning its top branch. Why does it have Magic in its title? Well, both the cakes itself and all the edible decorations are generously laced with nip, and after a couple of slices you will probably be hearing sleigh bells ring!
For the perfect present as well as the perfect cake, you have to try our Perfect Present Cake! Each layer of the carefully-designed cake is decorated like a separately wrapped present, tied up with beautiful red and white bows. The big secret is that each layer is heavily laced with a different drink from the Menu – can you guess which layer is which? It may take you several slices, especially as the green bits all contain lashings of @TinyPearlCat’s primo nip, but it’s possible to have a lot of fun trying…
Your barktenders are waiting to serve you with the items of your choice, so do please place your order and… enjoy!